There have been quite a few family members, very ‘immediate’ family members even, who have mentioned that they plan to be present when I graduate college. As a person who has made it a habit to not give much credence to human promises (especially when the fulfillment date is in the distant future), those ‘plans’ haven’t really meant much to me. Admittedly, however, when certain persons make that statement, it kinda gets under my skin…just a little. You see, although I usually respond with a polite and slow “oh……..ok”, many times what I really want to say is:

“Fuck you mean, you plan to come to my graduation!? Where were…no…where ARE you when I need support (both emotional and economic)? When did you visit me to check on my well-being, to make sure that I’m making wise decisions, or to show concern about the path that I will take? What care-package did you send? And why is it that you only mentioned my graduation after asking how I’ve been and hearing my response about how busy I’ve been with school? Truth be told, I really don’t want to be bothered with you at graduation. When I think about graduation, you don’t come to mind. I will not be in any way affected by your absence, and your presence would just inconvenience me into being accommodating.”

But, like I said, I just opt for the polite, slow “oh…..ok” (lol). Naturally, you expect a lot (i.e a huge celebration) when you graduate from high school, but (and maybe it’s just me) I don’t care to have a bunch of hoopla surrounding my college graduation - especially involving people who have been consistently irrelevant within this context. I just want to quickly move on unto the next phase of my life. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not going to forbid anyone from coming to celebrate such a monumental accomplishment (especially if they come bearing gifts..lol) or anything; that’s not what I’m trying to say here. But I won’t be actively promoting it or sending out invitations either. If you were absent during my struggle, don’t expect to be present during my success.

Juanito